Searching For Nirvana

366

Maria DiGiorgio is a lifelong New Yorker, who currently resides in Commack, with her family.  She is a devoted wife and mother, an educator and designer. Maria is active in her community, as a PTA mom and Girl Scout leader.  She has a passion for interior decorating and loves to garden. She is an avid reader, and enjoys writing about life experiences and parenthood, as well as her personal observations about the world around us.
    My soul is restless. I cannot seem to find peace.  From day to day, my mood fluctuates, my spirits rise and fall and my outlook on life seems to wax and wane. I can’t “find myself”, some might say. The truth is I am not sure of what it is I am searching for. We all have this magical place we conceive of: a place where everything and everyone is perfectly fine, healthy and well; a place where there is no pain, fear, anxiety, turmoil or confusion. We are forever in pursuit of this feeling of ideal happiness: “nirvana”. The problem is, it doesn’t actually exist.
     We can obtain glimpses of it, throughout our lifetime, but it is mostly elusive and rarely shows up to stay for the long haul. Invariably, we just get a taste of this perfection and we are forever hooked.  We crave it more and more as we move through the passages of time and things become more complicated and difficult to manage. We seek it out, when we believe we see it alive and well in other people’s lives.  We wonder why haven’t we been able to harness it and give it a permanent place to reside in our own hearts, our own minds, and in our own lives?   “The grass is always greener on the other side of the street”, is a saying that best describes this conundrum of human nature. We always seem to want what we believe we do not have. Ironically, we are often in possession of what we envy in others.  We have just become blind to our own gifts. 
     We are products of a society that promotes the concepts of:  “more”, “bigger”, “better”, “never enough”.  The image of satisfaction is one that keeps changing, just as the ideals we subscribe to continually change. If the proverbial “prize” is always transforming, then we can never hope to obtain it, once and for all. We have to step back, take some really deep breaths and ask ourselves some seriously difficult questions. What IS it I am searching for in my life? What is important to me, my loved ones, and my sense of well-being?  How can I begin to erase the emotional and psychological clutter I have accumulated, and begin to see clearly, what will satisfy me, personally, in my life?
     Understanding that we do not have to subscribe to what others are doing, believing or engaging in, is a truly liberating and powerful concept! We can determine the course of our own lives, with the ideals and values we set forth, that promote health of our own bodies, minds and spirits. In doing so, we actually can achieve greater peace and a real sense of joy, fulfillment and happiness, that no amount of outside influence can ever hope to cultivate. In this place we can enjoy the feelings we yearn for, but in a profound and deeply satisfying way, and we can revel in its beauty and joy, each and everyday.  Namaste.