Saying No Without Guilt: How to Set Boundaries Like a Queen

Saying yes to something when you secretly want to say no is one of the biggest ways you are not loving yourself. I know—it sounds weird because you’ve been led to believe that the more you give of yourself to others, the more you’ll be rewarded OR, even worse, appreciated.

But guess what? Unfortunately, neither of those things actually happens.

So you keep giving and giving until you feel depleted, resentful, and just plain confused about why things aren’t working out for you… BUT you still keep saying yes.

Well, I’m going to let you in on a little secret. Actually, it’s not a secret, but I’ll tell you—most people don’t realize this:

Saying yes when you want to say no is NOT aligned energy in your body. Newsflash: It doesn’t make you feel good, and you will end up feeling annoyed and resentful.

Now, if you’re new to me and my philosophy, let me tell you the ONE thing I preach at nauseam—the absolute root of living a happy life:

You have to practice self-love and make yourself the priority.

When you say yes to something you really don’t want to do, you instantly feel annoyed, right? And how does that affect your mood and attitude? It’s not good.

So, when you say yes (even though you don’t want to) and that annoyed energy trickles into other parts of your day and life, is that setting you up for happiness and success? Definitely not.

So What’s the Solution? Start Saying No (Without Feeling Bad About It!)

Now, let’s be real—you’re not going to suddenly start saying no to everything in a rude or abrupt way. That wouldn’t feel right either.

Instead, you’re going to slowly become busy with other things… or have other “obligations” (like yourself—LOL ), so you’ll need to politely decline.

For example…

 Maybe you love your grandchild, but somehow, you’ve become the default babysitter, even though you never actually signed up for that role.

Maybe you have that one friend who always complains and vents, even though you’ve given her great advice (that she conveniently forgets).

Maybe you joined the PTA or a group that used to be beneficial, but now, with all the school politics, it just feels like a burden.

Maybe you were once part of a support group that helped you, but now, it’s just keeping you stuck in the past instead of helping you move forward.

Maybe you feel obligated to go to Sunday dinner at your in-laws. You love them, but honestly, sometimes you’d rather just stay home and recharge.

Whatever it is, I want you to start viewing saying no as choosing YOU—it’s your way of telling the universe (or God, or whatever you believe in) that you are finally making yourself the priority.

And guess what? That’s the first step to truly loving your life AND the people around you.

Baby Steps—It’s Okay to Start Small

Listen, are you going to go completely off the rails and start saying no to everything overnight? Of course not.

You’ve been saying yes for so long that you’ll need to practice saying no. And that’s totally okay! The point is, you’re starting.

So, when you finally pull off your first no (without guilt!), don’t announce it to the world. Instead, secretly give yourself a big pat on the back and be PROUD of yourself.

Because at the end of the day, there’s only one person guaranteed to be with you forever—YOU.

And choosing yourself? That’s the ultimate way to Start Loving Life®.

YAYYYY!!!