As a teen life coach, one of the most common questions parents ask me is, ‘How can I help my child stop worrying about what others think and become more confident?’
This question is especially relevant as the new school year begins, a time when children often face increased pressure to fit in and seek approval from their peers. The good news is that with the right guidance, your child can learn to develop a strong sense of self-worth, making them more resilient to external opinions and better equipped to thrive both academically and socially.
From a very young age, children are conditioned to seek validation from others. They’re taught to fit in, to be liked, and to measure their worth by external standards. As a result, they may not fully develop their true selves. Instead, they might create a self-image based on what they think others want, leading to feelings of doubt, fear, and worry. This can be especially challenging during the school years, where peer pressure and social dynamics can greatly influence a child’s self-esteem.
As a parent, you play a crucial role in helping your child break free from this cycle. It begins with teaching them the importance of self-love. Self-love isn’t just about feeling good; it’s about recognizing one’s inherent worth and understanding that they are enough just as they are, regardless of their grades, athletic achievements, or the number of friends they have. When children learn to think positively about themselves, they naturally start to feel better and become more confident.
Encourage your child to develop a positive mindset about who they are. Help them understand that their value doesn’t come from what others think but from within themselves. When they cultivate a strong, loving, and empowering opinion of themselves, they will start to see changes not only in how they feel but also in how they interact with the world around them.
Here’s how you can guide your child using my Start Loving Life® process:
- Reinforce Positive Self-Talk: Teach your child to replace negative thoughts with positive thoughts. For example, if they’re worried about fitting in at school, encourage them to repeat phrases like, “I am AWESOMEEEE,” or “I am AMAZZZZING.”
- Celebrate Individuality: Help your child embrace what makes them unique. Whether it’s their interests, talents, or personality traits, show them that these differences are something to be proud of, not something to hide.
- Model Self-Love: Children often learn by example. Demonstrate self-love in your own life. Let your child see you practicing self-care, speaking kindly to yourself, and setting boundaries. When they observe you valuing yourself, they’re more likely to do the same.
- Encourage Kindness and Understanding: Teach your child that being kind to themselves and others is a form of strength. When they extend love and understanding to themselves, it naturally flows into their interactions with others, fostering a more positive and supportive social environment.
- Create a Safe Space: Ensure that your home is a place where your child feels safe to express their feelings and fears without judgment. Open communication builds trust and helps your child feel secure in who they are.
- As your child enters this new school year, remind them that the only opinion that truly matters is their own. When they love and believe in themselves, they become empowered to navigate the challenges of school life with confidence and ease.
- In the end, the greatest gift you can give your child is the ability to see themselves as worthy, capable, and lovable—no matter what others may say. Help them shine their inner light, and watch as they step into their true potential, ready to embrace the world on their terms.
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