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 Dr. Gold, Ph.D, LMHC, is a Licensed and Board Certified Clinical Mental Health counselor, with a Ph.D in psychology, clinical practice. She’s in private practice at her home office in Fort Salonga, specializing in relationships. A sub specialty is in integrating holistic methods with traditional ones. She is founding president of Happi Act for autism www.happiact.org a non-profit organization. She can be reached at drgold6@optimum.net. |
| Ideally, disciplining teenagers begins around age 4, not age 14, by teaching early about responsibility and right behavior. Dr. Walt Mueller teaches seminars “No Parent Left Behind” for strengthening families. (His credentials are impressive. Suggest you Google him) His brochure reads: “Life as a teenager in today’s world bears little resemblance to the world you once inhabited. If you blink, you might be left behind, forfeiting your opportunity to effectively lead your kids through adolescence and into a healthy adulthood.” Today many parents have succumbed to teen’s peer pressure, which is stronger than ever before. Our teens expect that they must do as peers do or be ostracized. We as teens came inside to escape peer pressure. Now, due to technology, they don’t escape. Teens need us as parents to speak influentially; “This is right.” “This is wrong.” Remember, it is only around ages 24/25 that the human brain is fully formed. We need to keep up with their culture. Over 92% of teens sleep with their cell phones at night. One teenager, looking at a pencil with #2 on it, asked “What doe s ‘hash tag 2 pencil’ mean?” We used to come home from school, change into our play clothes and go out. Today they don’t change clothes; they don’t go out. A comedian joked that he opened his front door while his son was behind him texting. Suddenly the son looked out the door, pointed and asked, “What’s that, dad? Dad answered, “That’s a tree, son. If you ever went outside, you’d have known that.” Keeping a sense of humor helps! Technology gives us an opportunity to discuss things of interest to them. We should think with them, not for them. Negotiation and compromise are key in encouraging your teens to make good decisions, to behave responsibly. e.g., your son Zack wants to attend a particular concert. You tell him why you feel attending would not be in his best interest. Then he must decide for himself. Zack is learning that he earns your trust by behaving responsibly and making good decisions. Teenagers need their parents’ trust. Hopefully Zack will decide that it was not worth 3 hours at a concert to lose that trust. Despite all the texting, social networking, and the like, this is the most alone generation. We want to discourage narcissism while encouraging individualism, encourage optimism, not pessimism. Being the example can help. They need us to value, guide and love them. |
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