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Stop Arguing Start Listening
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 Lisa Navarra M.A. Special Education offers Workshops, Professional Development and Support Groups teaching how to manage challenging behaviors in school and at home. With over 20 years of experience, Lisa is the Founder/President of Child Behavior Consulting, LLC. For more information, log onto www.childbehaviorconsulting.com, email Lisa@ChildBehaviorConsulting.com, or Verizon Fios Push Pause LI Parenting: Setting Limits. |
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According to the Cambridge dictionary to argue means, "to disagree especially strongly and sometimes angrily in talking or discussing something." If you read my article, "Are You Listening?" you might be noticing how well you really listen to others when they speak. Hopefully, you are practicing some of the insider tips in how to be an effective listener and speaker. Be aware when trying to make self-improvements, it's easier to practice new skills when you're not under pressure. This prepares you to be ready and avoid a meltdown when things get heated. If you are becoming aware of your own skills as well as becoming a calm and effective communicator, you'll be able to see when someone else can benefit from the same awareness and skills. With such clarity and confidence you'll see when someone approaches you in an argumentative manner as an opportunity to discover how he/she is thinking and feeling. This may be true especially when you are being approached by a close friend or loved one who rarely expresses his/her thoughts and feelings. You may want to disagree strongly or argue with me right now and say that arguing is useless time spent exerting too much energy without any positive outcomes. I would empathically listen to your opinion realizing that this may have been the majority of your experience. If this is your experience, it's your perception therefore your reality. I would add that if you improve your ability to listen you will see that there is a message and a meaning to be heard when someone strongly expresses himself/herself. Of course under these conditions, what is said and how it is said might not be your first choice! However, you can still get to the bottom line or at least get some more information to the heart of how someone is feeling and thinking if you really listen to the message behind the argument. Here are several ways to make arguing a productive means of communication: Being calm especially during emotionally charged times is not easy. Be proud of yourself and recognize your efforts to keep the argument productive. While giving yourself much deserved credit, remember it's hard work and a process in which you decided to improve in. Whereas, the other person may not have. Therefore, continue with listening even if you feel the other person is not as insightful. It will be up to you to model calm and productive communication. In the end, you'll be happy you did! |
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Aaaaaah… Amalfi!
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 Claudia Fenner is a writer, photographer and travel enthusiast who is a stay home mom of three in Dix Hills. She loves to plan her family’s vacations and helping her friends and relatives with their vacation ideas. |
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“Go! Go to Naples! Eat more pizza!” The Amalfi Coast is a stretch of coastline about 150 miles south of Rome. Planning a trip there was challenging but the rewards (and the views) were well worth the effort. The first decision to make is whether to fly into Rome or Naples. We actually did both. We flew on connecting flights to Naples and then on a nonstop back from Rome. There is one airline, Meridiana, that flies one nonstop a day from JFK to Naples. |
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Bowling For Education
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Bowling For Education – TICKETS ON SALE NOW! Sunday November 13 • 1-4PM This is going to be a fun day with unlimited bowling, raffles and auctions. Appetizers, lunch, soft drinks, cake and coffee are included in your ticket price. The proceeds of the fundraiser will help provide scholarships for Commack High School & FSU students. Tickets & Info at www.amyfundraiser.wix.com/scholarship |
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After Summer Skin Care
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 Sandy Alcide is a Licensed Esthetician with advanced certifications in Anti-Aging, Acne & Skin Disorders and International Skin Care Methods. She is also a Licensed/Certified Oncology Skin Care Therapist. She is the owner and operating esthetician of Skin’s Addiction. Sandy is also the Founder & Bio Chemist for Motion Medica Botanical Skin Care. She can be reached at: skinsaddictionny@gmail.com |
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The summer season is coming to an end, but hot weather continues to linger. High temperatures can bring unpleasant skin conditions. Here are the most known troublesome skin issues. Bacteria Bacteria thrives in warm, moist, dark conditions, which can be a breeding ground for people who spend a lot of time in workout attire from outdoor or indoor activity or who’s occupation is working outdoors. These are ideal conditions for bacteria causing acne on the face and body. It is important to change your workout clothes as soon as possible and try your best to cleanse skin within 30 minutes after working out. Try to use a synthetic free cleanser specifically formulated for post workout activity which thoroughly washes off sweat and kills bacteria with an extra boost for your skin to feel refreshed such as the Stellar Performance Post Workout Cleanser. If you are acne prone and warm weather causes additional flair-ups use a non-irritating, Botanical Acne Cleanser. Keep your pores clear. Avoid oil-based sunscreens and make-up, which can lead to clogged pores. Be sure to exfoliate your skin with a 2 In 1 Organic Exfoliating Cleanser with Rosehip seeds that will dislodge debris in pores and won’t abrade delicate skin tissue. Never exfoliate if your skin is sun burned. A Painful Sunburn Heat Rash Dry, Dehydrated Skin Moisturize! People tend to slack off this essential step in warmer weather because their skin feels sticky from humidity and sunscreen. Big mistake! Your skin needs just as much moisturizer as it does in the cold, dry months from sun exposure. For dry, mature, dehydrated skin use a light-weight, but effective moisturizer enriched with Lipids, Silk Amino Acids, Fatty Acids which includes vitamins and minerals from blue green marine algae to keep your skin barrier strong and healthy. Use a moisturizer with these key ingredients such as the Seide Glanz Face & Eye Moisturizer. Acne prone skin also needs adequate topical moisture. Use a moisturizer developed for acne prone/oily skin like the Tough Competition Daily Moisturizer and helps to cure acne. Both will leave your skin adequately moisturized, without the weighed-down or sticky feel. For the products mentioned in this article visit www.MotionMedica.com. |
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Dishin With Denise… Back To School Watermelon Salad
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 Denise Gianatasio is a Northport Village resident and freelance writer. She is a licenced agent at Signature Premier Properties, 172 Main Street, Northport 631-754-3600. Denise enjoys cooking and sharing her recipes and family stories, as she wants to inspire a warm sense of home with her readers. Please feel free to contact her for any advice you may need at dishinwithdenise@yahoo.com. |
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This newly tried salad is the coolest and most quenching during warm days. Now in season watermelon among other fruits plays a beneficial role in keeping our bodies healthy and functioning. Look for the really lush green ones with a good spherical shape~ these are full of nutrients and help quench your thirst. A big bowl of watermelon chunks combined with feta cheese, fresh mint leaves and a drizzle of balsamic vinegar is a great side to any grilling meal or served for an easy Back to School dinner. You’ll want to use a good Modena Balsamic vinegar. A traditional heavier vinegar that is aged. Modena is the region in Italy where these grapes are obtained from, cooked slowly on open fires, in open vessels for a long time thus reducing its volume to about 1/3 of its initial volume. Then aged for 12 or more years, it’s high density has somewhat of a syrup consistency. Chefs around the world today are finding it’s use wonderful in enhancing dishes from appetizers to desserts. You can find this vinegar in most supermarkets or at Italian and gourmet specialty stores~ also sold at Costco. A special thanks to my friend Jen who had a group of ladies to dinner for National Girlfriends Day in August and served this salad with delicious fried chicken. Enjoy the remaining summer days and Keep… your COOL! XO Denise Ripe seedless watermelon diced into chunks (refrigerate until ready to dress) Toss and taste the delicious combination of these Summertime flavors! |
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Savory Eats In The Big Easy
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 Joe Alicata is a 2009 graduate of Northport High School, he has his B.A. in Public Administration from the University at Albany. Joe works in the insurance industry, and has recently moved to Brooklyn. He can be reached at etrestaurants@gmail.com |
| For years, my father traveled the country for work. He has been to more states than I can count, including making it to North Dakota and back before I made it home from high school, impressive right? Throughout all of his travels, there were a handful of cities that he told me I had to make it to at some point in my life. On top of that list was New Orleans. At long last, I was finally able to make my way down to the Crescent City and see what it’s all about. Whether you are interested in food (yes), history (yes), art (yes), music (yes), or just being able to drink in public without fear of arrest, New Orleans has something to offer you. My visit started at The Bulldog Midtown on Magazine Street, a dimly lit local bar with a good vibe and awesome selection of beers. We happened to arrive on pint night, which means not only are there $5 pint specials, but you get your beer in a sassy pint glass which you get to keep with sayings like “The cause and solution to all of life’s problems (with beer mugs on either side of the text)” scrawled on the side. After two or so hours there with a handful of friends, you can likely open your own bar or stock a new apartment with glassware no problem. The Bulldog also features a beautiful patio adorned with a unique stone fountain adorned with numerous tap handles which add charm and also remind you why you are there: to drink and socialize. A must see if you are in the area. There are of course staples in the New Orleans food scene, like Café Du’Monde which has operated since 1862 serving world famous beignets doused in powdered sugar, along with chicory coffee. The café operates 24 hours a day, so you should have no problem finding the time to stop on in and enjoy a delicious beignet. Or Camellia Grill, in the Carrolton section of the city. First opened in 1946, Camellia offers diners a step back in time. With counter service the only option for seating, diners are treated to a lineup of diner classics from oversized omelettes, to French toast, pancakes and rib sticking milkshakes. The final locale I will leave you with, is not a food joint at all. It is the drink that takes center stage. The Old New Orleans Rum Co. founded by renowned artist James Michalopoulos and using locally sourced sugar cane, Old New Orleans Rum Co. turns out some delicious and unique products. Outside of their delicious crystal, amber and Cajun spiced rums, there is my favorite: Gingeroo. A carbonated cocktail, Gingeroo combines crystal rum with cayenne, ginger juice and cane syrup. The result is a refreshing, distinct and delicious drink which is perfect on a hot afternoon or to nurse a bitter hangover. I wish I had more space to explain the many places New Orleans has to offer. This spatial issue means only one thing: you best get yourself down to NOLA and check it out for yourself. |
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Some Plastic With Your Food?
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 Bill Lauto is an Environmental Scientist and Energy Consultant who has been teaching how we can save our money, energy, environment, and health, since 1982. Mr. Lauto operates GoingTrueGreen.com and his work has been published in magazines such as: Consumer Report, Kiplinger's Financial and Business Ethics. |
| Today products are protected in packages that use plastic. Plastic seems to be everywhere and we don’t really think twice about that fact. These packages come in all shapes and sizes, such as blisters packs and water bottles. The products being protected range from tooth brushes to LED light bulbs and pills to your salad for lunch. The idea is great because of the extra safeguarding offered when you dropped or bang the package. Nevertheless, a great idea can be nothing more than Crab Crap if there are a flaws in the overall equation. Here are two reasons why this idea is fundamentally flawed: Most plastics can leach BPAs into your food or drink, especially when heated or frozen. Bisphenol A (BPA) is in metal cans and almost everything plastic. This soupy chemical mix may not affect you tomorrow, but over your life time, do you want to risk those carcinogens being a contributing factor to problems later in life? Only three things DO NOT put carcinogens into our food or drink and that is Glass, Wax Paper, and Porcelain. I Do Not use plastic bottles to drink from and I avoid foods in plastic due to the possible BPA contaminants. If you wish to learn more, please consider taking my new online workshop about WATER. Classes will start this September at GoingTrueGreen.com. The second reason is that more than 60% of American Townships Do Not recycle these thermoformed containers. So yes, even though you have been putting all your protective plastic packaging from your purchased products into recycle bins, they are not being recycled. They are still going into landfills. According to the FTC Green Guide, when more than 60% of American Recycling infrastructures Do Not recycle an item, then that item is deemed "Un-Recyclable" because your municipality is removing these items from the recycling conveyor belt or recovery system to bury them in a landfill where they don't breakdown. The Federal Trade Commission’s Green Guides are designed to help marketers avoid making environmental claims that mislead consumers. However, in this case, we are misled by the process of omission! When a plastic package has no recycle information on it, we take the sensible option and recycle. However, because we are not told that our township does not recycle them, we are misled. The irony to all this is that the demand for post-consumer PET exceeds the supply by a tremendous margin. Polyethylene terephthalate, aka PET, is used for containers that hold liquids, products, and food. So the next time you want to buy water in plastic bottles, lunch, or a product protected within plastic, you may want to think twice. |
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12 Fall Tips From Natalie
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 Natalie Weinstein is President of Natalie Weinstein Design Associates, The Natalie Weinstein Home Decorating Club and Uniquely Natalie, a quality consignment outlet. Hear Natalie’s design tips on WALK 97.5 FM, enjoy her Long Island Focus featured in House Magazine or call: 631.862.6198 |
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September is back to school, back to work, back to routines, changing of the seasons and the perfect time to plan your decorating project. Save these tips for getting you started at any time, but know that fall is the most productive time to begin both long and short term projects. • Whether you’re planning to “do it yourself” or hire professionals, make a realistic schedule for your project, and then add for contingencies. Make sure all contracted sources put in writing the expected time frame for completion or delivery. • If you are considering renovations such as kitchen, bath or any construction, and you have not begun, don’t expect to be finished for this holiday season. Get started, but aim for spring completion so you can prepare appropriately. • Start with a floor plan. Lay out the space and get professional help for this phase, if you need it. It could make all the difference in the end result and save you money in costly mistakes. • Establish realistic budget parameters and if it’s a big project, explore avenues for financing. Remember how much new kitchens and baths appreciate the value of your home as well as improve your lifestyle. • Interview contractors and sources and shop for items needed, but be flexible (remember the cheapest price may not be the best). Experienced professionals can offer alternatives you might not have considered. • If you clean up the clutter, throw out stuff and organize your space before you begin, you will have less to do when the project is completed. (If there’s a dumpster on site, use it!) • When decorating public spaces, (living room, dining room, den and foyer) start with area rugs to help you define space, pattern, color and create a new look, even if your keeping “oldies but goodies.” • When decorating bedrooms, start with the bedding (often sold with co-ordinating draperies) to establish wall and carpet color. Try to stay monochromatic (1 color family) on walls and floors should you decide to change from winter velvet to summer patchwork. New furniture may or may not be in the plan, but make sure your new purchase can stand the test of time. • When decorating rooms for kids, remember they grow and their room should grow with them. Make major purchases carefully and with an eye to tomorrow. With new homes, I like to decorate kids rooms first to settle, focus and give them a good self-image and sense of confidence especially if starting in a new school. • Set aside money for extras, upgrades and accessories. If you budget too close to your top limit, you may later regret not taking a worthwhile option. • Don’t be an impulse shopper. Choose carefully since what’s “in” today may be “out” tomorrow. If you want to be a little funky, do it with accessories that can be easily or inexpensively changed if you grow tired of them. • Enjoy the process of decorating. It really can be fun, enriching and satisfying. You’ll be less stressed with a plan and you have the years ahead to reap the rewards of your efforts. |
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It’s Mid Life… So What?
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 John has a master’s degree in exercise science/human performance and doctoral studies in applied physiology. He’s formerly certified by the American College of Sports Medicine as a Rehabilitative Program Director and Health Fitness Director. He’s authored a college level text for fitness, wellness and conditioning classes. He’s a former baseball coach and all conference collegiate player. He can be reached jrutig@att.net |
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Hey Guys. You wake up one day and realize your forty plus and start thinking about things. Different thoughts, concerns seem to rush into your brain. Maybe you’ve even broke into a sweat trying to figure some things out. So what does it all mean? Taking some time for yourself and perhaps spending some more time with your family will help. It seems that those who take time to identify their goals and what they need to do health wise to meet those goals, end up having the best quality of life. So relax and take the first step – your health. The best time to take care of you is before anything goes wrong. Learning how to make healthy lifestyle changes is critical at this time. Therefore step one is to set goals that you can keep. Experts use the acronym SMART to describe goals that are more likely to succeed. They are S- specific; M- measureable; A-achievable; R-realistic and have specific T-time commitment. What are some of the best things you can do to set goals for and keep your body and mind strong and improve the quality of your life? Number one is probably exercise. The benefits: a longer life, a healthier heart, stronger bones, a dose of cancer protection, better weight management and sounder sleep. The U.S. Department of Health and Human services recommend at least 30 minutes of moderate aerobic activity five days per week and at least two sessions of strength training per week. Next is a healthy diet. There is a plethora of information available on how you can eat your way to a long, healthy life without extreme dieting and spending your life savings. Most of the times it’s not about difficulty as it is about discipline. As you age your body metabolism naturally slows down and you start to lose muscle mass. It’s too easy to fall victim to slow but steady weight gain. Realize your waistline is a measure of your health. Belly fat is worrisome because it has to do with the nature of the fat. Subcutaneous fat lies near the surface between abdominal skin and the wall of the muscle. Visceral fat lies beneath those muscles, surrounding vital organs. This fat is far more dangerous for your health. So what do you think about midlife? It’s time to take care of #1. The best start is your health. Check with your doctor first and get started exercising and eating healthier. SO THAT’S WHAT. |
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New Jersey Proposes Expansive Distracted Driving Law
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 Paul A. Lauto, Esq. received his Juris Doctor from New York Law School in 1990. In 2002 Mr. Lauto established Paul A. Lauto, PLLC (Now located at 565 Route 25A, Suite 207, Miller Place, NY 11764; (631) 928-1430; www.liattorney.com), with a primary concentration on personal injury, all types of accident cases and more. |
| On April 14, 2012 an 18 year old high school senior named Nikki Kellenyi was a rear seat passenger in a vehicle with two friends. The vehicle reportedly crashed as a result of driver distraction, resulting in the loss of Nikki Kellenyi's life. Every year in our country thousands of lives are lost as a result of distracted driving related accidents. All of this was the impetus to a newly proposed driver distraction law in the state of New Jersey, also known as Nikki's Law. The proposed law would make it illegal to, "engage in any activity unrelated to the operation of a motor vehicle in a manner that interferes with the safe operation of the vehicle." Fines would range from $200 to $800 with the potential for license suspension with a third repeated offense. Although the law would not necessarily specifically list all activities deemed to be prohibited, such prohibitions could include a wide range of activities from phone use/texting to eating and/or drinking. Proponents of the new bill state that this law is necessary in order to reduce the thousands of avoidable deaths, that occur every year on our country's roads due to distracted driving. Opponents argue that the law is vague, overly broad and tantamount to a revenue raising mechanism. In my January 21, 2016 article entitled "The Number One Reason Why People Have Car Accidents" (See http://www.liattorney.com/scales-of-justice/the-number-one-reason-why-people-have-car-accidents), I professed the answer to be none other than driver distraction. The operation of a motor vehicle requires one's complete focus and undivided attention, in order to minimize the chance of accident, injury and death. Driving is a serious responsibility that has no place for unrelated multi-tasking. The proposed law in New Jersey is an extension and codification of that responsibility. However the law as proposed, is largely discretionary and unclear as to exactly what constitutes a violation. If officers do not consistently exercise prudent discretion in the enforcement of such a law, it could prove problematic. Questions could arise as to whether or not the issuance of a ticket was truly a result of an action that interfered with the safe operation of the vehicle, or more the result of an officer's revenue based need to meet an end of the month quota-like expectation. Still many believe that a law that saves lives, is a law worth having. If New Jersey passes Nikki's Law, other states will pay close attention to the statistics that follow. If the law proves successful, other states will likely follow with similar legislation. If you drive a car, please do so responsibly of your own volition. Do not wait until a law is passed to exercise common sense when operating a motor vehicle or agreeing to be a passenger in a motor vehicle. The decision is yours to make, with your life and the life of others, potentially depending upon it. |
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Joy Is Good For The Soul
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 Stasie Tillman is a writer & an investment and personal finance analyst. She oversaw the Analytics department for a prominent Long Island bond brokerage firm for many years. She’s the founder of AStoicLife.com a faith and lifestyle website. Contact her at astoiclife.com/work-with-me-pr-friendly/ |
| In the blink of an eye the summer has ended. I regretfully realize I didn’t make it to the beach not even once. The brutal summer sun and the beating heatwave that arrived in the Northeast during last days of August could not coerce me to make it out there. I could barely move around indoors let alone lie baking on the scorching sand of the beaches of Long Island. However, I did find moments of joy throughout the summer months. I found it in brief moments of impromptu get-togethers with friends, or one-on-one moments with my little ones or date nights with my spouse. With all the bad news in the media, and with today’s society prone to electronic overload, we are bombarded by negative news. This can leave a heaviness on the mood and a discouraged outlook on life. Instead of focusing on all that was going wrong in our society and in the world at large, I determined to look for the good things in life. Now that’s not to say make light of the current issues (such as the drama in the political campaigns, police brutality, or the disaster in Louisiana). These are all serious and very important issues that affect us all and the society we live in. But be aware that the constant maelstrom of negative images affects our psyche and our disposition. There will be times we need to turn off the news or unplug from social media, so that we can keep a right perspective. It is not all bad. There is still good in life! Our lives today are fast-paced. We often tackle many demands daily, which can leave us stressed and out of balance. It’s become common to hear ‘busy,’ as a response to the question, ‘how’ve you been?’ Let me encourage you to slow down. Take stock of your life and the people in it. Instead of saying I don’t have time, make time to fully be present with a friend or family member. It is in these little moments, which happen so few and far between these days, that joy can truly be felt. As we start the fall season and the weather cools a bit, I plan to spend a few evenings by the shore taking in a sunset or just listening to the waves rush in, and sharing these moments with my family. These are simple treats of life that are often overlooked in all the busyness. We weren’t built to operate in rush mode and constantly stressed. Our bodies, souls, and spirits suffer under such conditions. Let me encourage you to carve out some time to nurture yourself. Do something you enjoy, like reading a mystery, or taking an evening walk. Feed your soul with moments of joy, both big and small, and seek to keep a balance in your life. Your health and overall well-being will thrive. |
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20 lucky winners will win $500 each in prizes totaling $10,000.