Your child comes home with tears trickling down their face.  As your little one is screaming out in pain your heart  drops into the pit of your stomach. You are able to fight back your tears but are unable to stop those of your child. You have no idea what happened but you know one thing for sure. It won't happen again. Not to my child.

Unfortunately, the above scenario is all too common.  Kids go through rough times.  They all do. It is in these moments of darkness that their character is built. 
 
When a child is in pain many parents will shower them with words of encouragement.  You may have used phrases such as: You are faster, stronger and smarter than your problems. There is nothing you can't handle. Hold your head up.  Tomorrow will be better. Although these words are nice to hear, they won't solve the problem.  Let's face it.  When you tell a child what to do or how to feel do they typically listen? The answer would be no.  So, let’s choose a different approach. 
 
How do you do this? As a parent it is essential that you plant the seeds to your child's success. This should be done every single day. Now what do I mean by this.

Let's say your child is fearful they will fail their upcoming math test.  By planting the seeds you would ask them the following questions leading up to the exam.  After you pass your math test how would you like to celebrate OR How awesome are you going to feel when you pass your math test?! 
 
As you plant these seeds to success you are laying the loving foundation that you believe in your child.  You are asking them to picture how they will feel after they accomplish a goal they never thought was attainable.  As you can see, the parent isn't nagging nor are they putting pressure on the child. They are simply asking positive questions that garner positive answers.  Reality is perception.  If we are constantly being told we can accomplish our goals we will quickly believe we can.    

In the words of Confucius," he who says he can and he who says he can't are both right".  This just makes sense. Your child can fail their test as easily as they can pass it. The only thing getting in their way is themselves.  When you eliminate your child's fear of failing you are replacing it with the excitement of winning. Now get to work!  You have seeds to plant!.

Tony Moschella is an Independent Educational Consultant serving the needs of high school students engaged in the college search and admissions process. Following 32-years as a School Psychologist, Tony started University College Advisors to polish student profiles through college interest and major assessment, essay and interview prep, college list building, financial aid review and college admissions guidance.
Cell: 516-443-5192.
www.UniversityCollegeAdvisors.com 
UniversityCollegeAdvisors@gmail.com

    The start of a new school year offers a prime time to research and plan college visits for the prospective college student.  College trip planning provides students and their parents the opportunity to learn a lesson in setting up a college visit itinerary. This is an educational experience that improves with each successive visit and is an important part of the college search process. Prior to the planning stage, a fair assessment of the schools to visit should be agreed upon to make the ultimate journey productive. Once the preliminary college list has been established and suitable matches are identified, college visits should be arranged efficiently by geographic regions so that multiple schools may be viewed consecutively. 
    Preparing for each college visit includes thorough research to build a frame of reference so that students can survey schools with a critical eye.  Valuable steps include reviewing each school’s website, taking the virtual tour, surveying college guide books, learning about program offerings and the specific departments that peak your student’s interest. These simple steps promote efficient planning and aid in creating a more educated framework for assessing schools. Scheduling in advance is important, along with taking the campus tour and information sessions. While in the Admissions Office, fill out personal information and contact cards. Introduce yourself to your region’s admissions officer. These practical steps build your demonstrated interest in a school and help to identify an authentic desire to attend. 
    Once completed, record each visit within a personal college visit journal that might include both a narrative and a data chart of vital facts and impressions. With each contribution, a reassessment can take place to gauge the relative merits of each school. As time passes, the college visit journal will help rekindle impressions and contribute to the decision making process. Finally, follow-up with a potential decision maker, such as your regional admissions officer. An email with a genuine inquiry and a comment about your recent visit and interest in the school sets a positive tone. 

College Trip Planning Recap:

• Initiate college visits once you have established a well-thought out student preference profile. This self-assessment and interest inventory will provide a solid foundation from which to investigate schools. 

• Prepare by reviewing school websites, take virtual tours, survey college guide books, learn about program offerings and specific departments that peak student’s interest. 

• Participate in all of the admissions offerings, including an information session, campus tour, interview, open house, personal data survey, website email sign-up, etc. Introduce yourself to the admissions officer for your region. Demonstrated interest in a school helps to separate your student’s application from the competition.  

• Seek to cluster visits with other targeted colleges in a geographic region.

• Follow-up with a potential decision maker, such as your regional admissions officer. An email with an authentic inquiry and a comment about your recent visit and interest in the school sets a positive tone. 

• Make both an anecdotal and data record of each college visit for future reference. A College Visit Journal will help rekindle impressions and contribute to the decision making process.