Being Happy

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Dr. Gold, Ph.D, LMHC, is a Licensed and Board Certified Clinical Mental Health counselor, with a Ph.D in psychology, clinical practice.  She’s in private practice at her home office in Fort Salonga, specializing in relationships. A sub specialty is in integrating holistic methods with traditional ones. She is founding president of Happi Act for autism www.happiact.org a non- profit organization. She can be reached at drgold6@optimum.net

The following “secrets” to happiness have helped many toward happier lives. You might want to keep them in your pocketbook, wallet or on your bulletin board to refer to often.

1. The secret of unhappiness is pleasing others: Tell yourself “Today I will do in my heart what feels right, even if it isn’t popular.”  People may get upset when we don’t agree with them, yet inner strength is respected

2. Decide what you want. Relax. Ask within if its right for you. Be still and await your answer. We have a built in indicator; if some thing or action is right, we’ll feel a contented feeling in the heart or solar plexus region. If not, we’ll feel agitation in one of those same areas. If it’s right, commit to it 100%

3. Make everyone in your life feel special and loved: Listen to them intently when they talk.  Look directly at them. Use their name often.   Find ways to praise and compliment them. Touch them, hug or put a hand on their shoulder. Bring or give small “gifts” which show you know and think of them, e.g. “I saw this cartoon (or article, column, note pad) and just had to give it to you.”

4. Don’t manipulate others, or allow yourself to be manipulated: We can’t control others. When we have insight into their natures and what they are apt to do, we can adjust out actions with them accordingly, for the best results.

5. Remember that when you think other people “have it better” than you do, you’re seeing only the tip of the iceberg. The grass is NOT always greener. Cease comparing and complaining and make the most of what the Universe has given you.

6. You aren’t a failure if you don’t succeed.  You’re a success because you tried the best that you knew how. Every successful person has “failed” an unbelievable number of times.

7. Every day promise yourself: “Today I will look as good as I can, act as courteously and kindly as I can, and before I speak, I will ask myself these four things: “Is this what I really believe?” “Is this true?”  “Is this kind?” “Will I and the person(s) involved gain from my saying this?” Unless the answer to all four is “yes” don’t say it.

8. What we deny to others will be denied to us: How much love, forgiveness and compassion do you want?  GIVE extra of each.

9. Allow yourself happiness and work toward handling it. Loose the guilt. Some people may not want you to be happy, true,  but the universe does. 

So… GO for it!