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 Tiffany Belferder is a practiced therapist, mother of two, and Head of School of Fusion Academy Long Island. Professionally she supports others, but Tiffany aims to ensure that we never fail to take care of ourselves first. |
| Everyone is looking for something to happen before they can be happy – “If I just get that raise, new job, or find that wonderful relationship, then I know I will have found happiness.” Especially now, after feeling stuck and having been inside for months, we are waiting for the chance where happiness will find us. Like I tell my daughter, who at three years old, wakes up crying for reasons very small… “Let’s do something to change that”. What if we had the chance to be happy right now in this moment? Would you take it? Would you change it? Or, do you want your focus to be on continuing to have a rough day? To find wellness, the first step is to recognize what already makes you happy and there are two ways to do that. Spend intentional time doing things that you enjoy. Then, identify every opportunity to be grateful. Although it may sound overly simple, why not try? As a mother, I recognize that my children are having the most fun when they play. As an educator, I witness students finding joy in learning subjects that are pleasurable to them. When was the last time you played? “Play” can be defined as, engaging in an activity for the pure enjoyment of it; doing something you like to do. Blast music and dance. Experiment and cook. Tinker with a train set. Read. Go fishing. Listen to the rain. As you are experiencing these things you enjoy, don’t pass judgement on yourself for what else you could be doing. Just play. Many of these things could be done in less than 30 minutes. Wouldn’t it be worth staying up a ½ hour later to do something you enjoy? Let’s explore the latter. What are you grateful for? From monks to millionaires, all those who identify as being the happiest and most successful, spend their time feeling thankful for what they have. Take a moment now and think of three things to be grateful for—regardless of the proportion, just name three. It shifts your mindset. Expand on it. Write it down. Then, before you go to bed, rather than replaying the days events, drift off to sleep feeling grateful for the things, people and experiences you have in your life. Tie it to something, or even turn it into a mind-strengthening game if you’d like. For example, every time you see an object, challenge yourself to think of three reasons for gratitude. Now, here is the difficult part: creating a habit (which ususally takes approximately 28 days). Don’t do something for a week and write it off, instead, recognize how good you feel when you are in these moments, as brief as they may be. Experience is the greatest teacher, so don’t take my word for it. Recognize that in your present moment, you are enjoying yourself while you play or feel grateful. However, what if you committed to it? Creating these practices could change your life. By no means do I, or any one person, have all the answers, although, I would encourage you to ponder where your current methods of pursuit of happiness have led you thus far. Have they been effective? Fruitful? What if you began creating a new focus or a new habit now and, what if the positive elements you begin to focus on going forward, continue to increase before your eyes? If that was true – even a little bit – why not try? |
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20 lucky winners will win $500 each in prizes totaling $10,000. 