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 Dr. Gold, Ph.D, LMHC, is a Licensed and Board Certified Clinical Mental Health counselor, with a Ph.D in psychology, clinical practice. She’s in private practice at her home office in Fort Salonga, specializing in relationships. A sub specialty is in integrating holistic methods with traditional ones. She is founding president of Happi Act for autism www.happiact.org a non-profit organization. She can be reached at drgold6@optimum.net. |
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This is the most nostalgic holiday season of all, when our tricky minds sneak back to the way things were then. Those memories are usually a mixture of sweet and bittersweet. For some, unfortunately, they are mostly bittersweet. We can create a new sweet memory story. While we don’t want to deny the “reality” of our past, if it helps us to understand our present, it can be very detrimental to our entire well being to allow our minds to keep dwelling on our past negative stories. Our minds cannot tell the difference between something “real’ and that vividly imagined, so it's fine to create a new memory. We are the boss of our mind; it will obey our command. So, create your positive story and allow your mind to return to that one as often as you choose to do so. You’ll be amazed at the immediate difference in how you feel, and its cumulative. There are no perfect families and no smooth sailing all the time. Most of us have had our issues with well-meaning but intrusive holiday relative guests, and anticipate repeat performances this holiday. It’s often wise to rehearse ahead of time, as a family or individually in age appropriate ways, proactive diplomatic ways of handling such situation. The important thing is to create beautiful memories now, for yourself and your family. Sit down to dinners together, call phones not allowed at the table. Talk to one another. Foster closer family relationships. If money is an issue and for whom is it not these days! – don’t over spend with credit cards so come January you are depressed by the bills. It is not what things cost that counts. Take walks together, attend a religious service together if that’s appropriate. Look in store windows, volunteer as a family at a soup kitchen, go caroling together. Have the children write thank you notes for gifts. Here it’s fine to bribe a bit regardless of age. A close relative finally got her 18 year old son to send me a thank you note for my birthday gift of 5 months earlier, by stating that he couldn’t leave for college (four days away) until he mailed it. The note arrived! Wishing you Sweet Memories, Happy Holidays! |
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20 lucky winners will win $500 each in prizes totaling $10,000. 