“Pardon Me, But Who Asked You?”

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Maria DiGiorgio is a lifelong New Yorker, who currently resides in Commack, with her family.  She is a devoted wife and mother, an educator and designer. Maria is active in her community, as a PTA mom and Girl Scout leader.  She has a passion for interior decorating and loves to garden. She is an avid reader, and enjoys writing about life experiences and parenthood, as well as her personal observations about the world around us.
    My life, of late, has been fraught with all kinds of changes.  Some are welcome; many are not.  Some were expected; some were not.  Nonetheless, I can honestly say that this has been a most challenging time, and one I struggle with on a daily basis.  What, you might ask, am I talking about?  I am speaking of midlife.  Yes! There, I have said it!  
    It is like Voldemort, in the Harry Potter Series.  “He, who shall not be named”, is for me, “it, that shall not be uttered”.  Somehow, the notion of never speaking of this terrible, awful, dreaded time of life, leads one to believe they might just actually bypass it.  Alas, it is not so.       
    It takes an incredible amount of effort, personal fortitude and damn-near daredevil courage to enter into this stage of life gracefully.  It just happens, seemingly overnight, and bam! There you are: middle-aged.  You really can’t believe just how fast you roll from youthful to other, much less desirable adjectives.  Even if you don’t actually feel any different or detect any major physical changes to your physique, jaw or hairline, the media bombards you, telling you there certainly is major reason for concern.  For goodness sake, can you watch one prime-time television program without hearing about a multitude of debilitating diseases or conditions for people in their middle years of life?  Why, oh why, does it have to be this way?
     Well, here’s some good news.  What’s that you say?  How could there possibly be any good news?  There can be and there is:  this is a time in your life when you can stand up for yourself in a way, that perhaps, you may not have been able to do in the years, prior.  You can assert yourself in a firm, yet respectful manner, when others project their own doom and gloom about aging, upon you.
    You can set aside some of the newly found free time your empty nest has given you to explore interests and hobbies you’ve had to put aside, while actively parenting, running a household and managing more than just your own life.  You can spend time strengthening your body and your spirit, through physical and emotional exercises.  You can delve into therapy, plan a retreat with friends or a significant other, get in touch with the person you may have forgotten resides inside you, via any and all things that speak to your spirit.  
    This is a time for renewal, not for retreat.  Don’t fear the reaper!  Send fear to the dark side, where it belongs.  Take healthy and calculated risks; try new adventures and cast yourself in a different and positive light.  This may just be one of the best times of your (still quite young) life.  Make the most of it and embrace the journey.  Remember, the only permission you need is your own!